ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
