what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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