Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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