I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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