You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
