Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it glows. i had to have it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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