dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
