What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize