Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
