You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
