Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Randomize
