What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
