I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
