Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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