the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
