i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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