she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
