I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
