I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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