evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
