I want to walk on stilts...naked
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
