I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize