she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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