she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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