we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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