wrigley field is MILF paradise
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
