My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We have so much sex to catch up on
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
