I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
