nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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