Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
