No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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