you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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