i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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