I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
