I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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