the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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