Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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