I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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