I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize