I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
