So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
