Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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