found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
