Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
