Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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