no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize