he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
