I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize