last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
