i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
