do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
