dude i'm inner monologue high
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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