so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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