just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
