I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
