Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
