dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
