There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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