and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize