I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
tell me about the eggs
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