Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
love makes seman taste better
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
