Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Farmville is her only friend.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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